Hazy Shade of Winter

January 25, 2010 at 4:51 am (life) (, , , , , , , , , , )

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My winter reminded me of one of my Favorite Bangles song, “Hazy Shade of Winter”.  One part of the song that relates to my winter:

“Hang on to your hopes, my friend
That’s an easy thing to say, but if your hopes should pass away
Simply pretend
That you can build them again
Look around, the grass is high
The fields are ripe, it’s the springtime of my life”

My winter has been one of ups and downs. Two days after Thanksgiving I got a call from my brother hysterical because he went to see my mom and she was non responsive and had to call 911 to take her to the hospital. When my brother asked the EMTs to take her to the hospital where her doctors are, they told him “In the condition she is, we can’t risk it”. That was the seriousness of her condition.  I wanted to fly back right away but my Dad said to hold tight until they knew what was going on. After talking the next day he said he would need help and I should see how fast I could get a flight out.

Even though it was one of the busiest travel days, I got very lucky when I called Midwest Express to change my original flight home,(I wasn’t supposed to leave until December 20th), the lead agent helped me get a flight that wouldn’t cost me an arm and a leg. December 1st I was on a flight back to Wisconsin. My brother and nephew picked me up and we headed straight to the hospital. To go into her room in ICU, we had to wear masks and gowns because they still didn’t know what caused her to get so sick. At one point while sitting there, mom didn’t remember that I lived in LA. I knew though that it was the sedation. (She later admitted to me, that she didn’t believe that it was really me standing there when she saw me.) That Friday she was released and I was helping my dad take care of her and help them pack. (They had sold their house and had to be out in the next three weeks. Yes there was a lot going on.)

While I was home for the month I thought a lot about moving back. I thought about being able to see my parents, family and friends all the time. Being able to attend the many events and weddings (five of my friends are getting married this year), without having to decide which one I should go to. Things would be easier.

But would I be happy? Then I started to remember that summer before I moved to California. I was so miserable every day because I knew I badly wanted to live in Cali. Then I thought about all of the connections I have been making out here in Los Angeles that are amazing people and have resulted in some great opportunities.

When I got back to LA it took a few days to get back into the swing of things but eventually I was going to networking events and feeling better about things. I still have up and down days (the rain for a week didn’t help my mood), but I am realizing California is the place I need to be.

I also have an amazing support system of friends who tell me, “miss you too! keeep your head up..you are following your dream which is way more than the rest of us can say!”. And my mom who says, “I will support you in any possible way I can”.

With support like that, anything is possible.

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