Not Completely Shattered

July 4, 2010 at 3:41 am (dating, life) (, , , , , , )

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It has only been a couple of days since the crush told me that we will be nothing more than casual and I seem to be getting through it pretty good, through the support of good friends and of course mom. I have looked back and realized though there were some signs it could eventually be more, there were also a few signs that it could never be.

Even though we were never exclusive I did a couple of things because I knew he liked it. One thing is he likes is his women a certain way “down there” and since he has been the only person I have been with since M left a couple of months ago, I obliged. Well this morning I went back to the way I like it and well M likes too. And even though it was only a little thing it felt amazing and liberating.

Today I feel great and can’t even explain why. Even though it is a holiday weekend and everyone is out celebrating with friends and family, I am spending the weekend alone, hanging by the pool, hiking, cooking myself a steak, having a few drinks and taking care of myself. I also do have to do some work in between there too.

I know I will still feel bad at times like I did for a bit last night, I know this is a good thing and I can get past it.

Now looking forward to M coming back to town.

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