The Shallow Hal Syndrome

July 21, 2010 at 5:15 am (dating, life) (, , , , , , , , )

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As a plus size girl dating in Los Angeles, I am amazed by some of the guys out here and their expectations. I had started talking to a guy once online and when I sent him a picture, he said, “For you to find a boyfriend out here, you need to wear a shorter skirt and dye your hair platinum blonde”.  Umm yeah. I told him my skirt in that picture is short enough and one time my hair was platinum blonde on accident and it didn’t look good.

I have met a few guys that think I am really cool and fun to talk to but well.. they don’t want anything more than just a friendship or sex. They don’t want me as a girlfriend. Since being back on I have come across some interesting profiles. They send me matches of these guys that aren’t looking for someone with a curvy body. Some of the guys that are looking for that athletic/toned or slender woman I can understand. But some of the guys, I think, REALLY? Like this one guy who is 33 and describes his body type as a few extra pounds. He is looking for a woman who is 25-40 that has a slender, about average, athletic/toned body. SERIOUSLY??? Some of these guys, especially in LA have this unrealistic expectation that they will end up with hot woman like is portrayed in movies and tv shows. Think; King of Queens, Shallow Hal, Knocked Up, According to Jim, Still Standing and many animated shows.

My blog and the novel I am working on is based on the superficial guys I have met since dating out here in Los Angeles.

I know a couple of guys like this. No I am not going to name any names but they have this expectation of a certain woman and then feel down when that hot chick rejects them. The thing is they are great guys, it is just the type of woman they want is not attracted to them. And well not rich enough for that type of woman.

I don’t deny we all have expectations of what we want our partner to look like and I understand that. And yes I want to be attracted to the person I am with. And I am confident in my body but I am also realistic.

Just listen to the Millionaire Matchmaker



  1. Katie said,

    As a non-skinny girl myself, I find it difficult to find men who want to take things seriously. I’m not sure how “plus sized” you are, not that it matters, but my point is that some men are looking for morbidly obese women, or skinny women, there’s no inbetween. At least not in New Jersey. But then again, Jersey sucks. Ha. 🙂

    New to your blog, but won’t be new for long. Loving it!

    • ljmaggie said,

      Thank you Katie for reading. Yes it is very true, some men are looking for one or the other. Living in Los Angeles, the land of plastic, it seems most are looking for skinny women. I am inbetween the two extremes. I keep my head up though and know the right one is out there somewhere.

      • chad said,

        look ladies i am 145 nd 6′ and i feel like u do but just the oppisite direction im not tryin to b rude but its tough being “tooo skinny” as well, i just want u two too stop looking for a guy, and asa u do theylll show up and it wont be forced like a dating site. second get the hell out of LA where the only thing people have to do n thier free time is judge people go to a rural area where people like u for who u are and not what u look like not that u look bad im just watching shallow hal and it makes me mad ttyl —–chad

      • ljmaggie said,

        Chad- thank you for your thoughts. I will say my ex-husband was tall and skinny like you and he is very good looking and sexy. (He is my ex b/c he moved back to his home country to take care of his ailing parents.) I moved to Los Angeles to be with him and after he left I decided to stay in LA because I had a full-time job that I loved. I have gone out with guys of all sizes. I agree that people in LA do judge as it is a very looks orientated town. If you have read some of my more recent posts, I have met a good man who is very attractive and likes me just the way I am. In this post, I wasn’t talking about all men as I know there are great ones out there.

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