What Could Have Been

August 25, 2010 at 7:03 am (dating, life) (, , , , , , )

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In the past few weeks I have been looking back on my life and relationships (both past and current). Normally this is something I do around my birthday in February but because of so much going on recently in my life, it caused me to think about it more.

I had a date with a great guy a week ago. I was able to be myself and the conversation just flowed. We went to a place where we could play video and arcade games and he enjoyed it as much as I did. Even though he is 11 years older than me, he was acting just as goofy as I was. I had so much fun and he is a true gentleman. But for some reason I was questioning if I like him. We had been talking for a few weeks before our date so I already knew he is a nice guy but spending those seven hours with him, confirmed even more how nice he is. It is something I haven’t experienced in a long time.

This got me thinking about someone else that I had so much fun with that at one time I thought was “The One”. He was the one my friends and I nicknamed, “The Fishguy”. (When he found out that is what his code name is he asked why it wasn’t “The Businessman”.) We had met less than a year after my separation and about 6 months after his last relationship ended. Looking back on it I realize it was not the right time in either of our lives to be together, no matter how perfect we were for each other. And I truly thought he was my soulmate. We laughed, acted goofy, liked the same music, had great conversations and no matter what we did, we had fun. He was a gentleman too because we didn’t have our first kiss until we had been dating a month and never slept together while we were dating. (It did happen though after we broke up and well it was amazing.)

I guess since then I have been looking for someone similar to him and only found certain qualities in guys I have met since him. And when it doesn’t happen with those other guys, I go back and think about him and the fun we had and wonder what if. But after seeing him a month ago, I realize we met each other at a time when we needed someone to lean on and take away the pain of our past relationships. As hard as I try, it is hard to get the fun times we shared out of my head.

Even though I have only been on one date with this new guy, he does a number of the qualities that “The Fishguy” had. And well they both dress very nice:)

This song I have listened to many times when thinking about The Fishguy.



  1. gingerblogger said,

    i understand completely what your talking about , i feel like ive kinda been there before myself … and the song is going to help me allot 😀 x

  2. ljmaggie said,

    Yes I think we all have at one point or another. It is hard but somehow we get through it and move on, even those memories never go away. Glad this song could help, it helps me as well as a number of other songs.

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