Another Friend with Benefits

March 21, 2011 at 9:00 am (dating) (, , , , , , )

Many of you might be wondering what happened Friday night with JS and if you read the title of this post, you already know.

I suggested we meet up at a coffee place by his work and he responded, “I got the impression you wanted to meet on neutral ground”. From that response, I was optimistic. When we saw each other he came up to me and gave me a quick kiss, we then found a place to sit and had small talk. I think he knew I was nervous about this conversation. Then he brought it up, “So flirting with a bartender?” I told him it wasn’t so much that but the fact that he was disappointed she brought up having a boyfriend. He said that is a normal response when you are flirting, and he was just telling me about his day. Then he quickly realized that telling me about that part of his day was probably not a good idea, apologized and said he should have edited that part out. He did ask me why I didn’t say something about it right away. I told him that in the past I have put up with things I shouldn’t have in the past and speaking up about things like that is new for me. I also told him I was having fun and didn’t want to ruin that. He seemed to understand.

Then he said the words I was hoping not to hear, “Friends with Benefits”. It stung even though I went there expecting things to go either way. He did keep saying he doesn’t want to do anything that will hurt or disappoint me, meaning he does care about me. He also said he really enjoys the time we spend together. After that conversation was over, he asked what I was up to the rest of the night and weekend and I asked him the same. We talked a bit more then he asked if we should head out. I suggested going somewhere to eat. He did try to joke and said we should probably not go to the bar/restaurant where that bartender works as she might be working. I just laughed and said probably not a good idea. We went to a nice wine restaurant he had been to before. The food, drinks, and conversation was good even though I was quiet at times. When the check came I pulled out my wallet and he suggest we split the bill. He did say he was going to put the tip on his check.

He walked me back to my car and kissed me for a bit before saying goodbye.

As you might have guessed, I called my mom and told her what happened. As I was pulling into my building, I just lost it. Mom stayed on the phone with me and tried to calm me down. It was a rough night and I even got sick. A big part of it was trying to understand why I constantly the friend with benefits and not the girlfriend. I texted JB to tell him what happened and he told me I need to focus on me and my career. I did lash out at JB a little bit and said that he is also someone that doesn’t want me as a girlfriend. I quickly apologized for being pissy and he said he understands.

Its been a quiet relaxing weekend for me and my friends have been great in making me feel better and making sure I am okay. While getting some things for a client’s party on Tuesday, I picked up something for myself, a great pair of Steve Maddens.

Now like my mom said, “You have to decide what you want to do”.  I’m still trying to figure that out.


1 Comment

  1. The Single Girl said,

    I’d always say you’re worth more than a ‘friend with benefits’, and you should move on and actually let love find you, but I’m biased, Hope you aren’t too cut up about it all.

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