Am I asking too much?

October 6, 2011 at 9:14 am (dating) (, , , )

I know I haven’t posted in a while. It seems like it is trend among us dating and relationship bloggers recently. We are all going through different changes in our personal lives right now. Must have to do with the change of the weather, but don’t worry we are all back to writing now. I did have a post in mind to write but then something today so I had to write this one.

It seems to be a trend I am hearing from my single and dating female friends, the guys they are dating don’t have respect for their time nor do they make much of an effort. I have a friend who has been dating someone exclusively for three months. She is a girl who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to express that. Since she is in school and working she has limited time but makes the effort. A few times when she has asked him to do something, he just says, “I can’t”, with no real reasoning for it.

I have been having a similar issue with JS lately. We have known each other for a year now, time has just gone by. And yes I remember the ‘incident’ in March and when he said he went into this with the ‘friends with benefits’ thought. But let’s be real, I see him once a week which is more than I have seen any other friends with benefits I have ever had. We also do more than just hookup, in fact the last two times we have seen each other there has been no sexual acts of any kind, we have just enjoyed each others’ company.

Well Monday I texted him if he wanted to do something Friday night (this has been our usual night since I started my Thursday night class started). He said maybe and that he needed to check his schedule. I had a feeling this might mean he had other plans but was hoping for the best. Then Wednesday at 5 I still hadn’t heard from him so  I took matters in my own hands and texted him, I’m guessing Friday is a no go. It took him almost four hours to respond by saying, “How about next Thursday. Or are Thursdays out?”

WTF? Have we not been talking about my class for the past few weeks when we see each other. We just talked about it last week when we saw each other. And why did it take him FOUR hours to respond to me? I responded by reminding him that I have class on Thursdays. And still no response.

Why didn’t he say anything on Monday night or Tuesday letting me know he couldn’t do anything Friday? Instead I had to be the one to say something. Was he going to wait till Thursday to finally say something or just assume since I hadn’t heard anything from him that would mean he had plans? I mean my other guy friends have enough respect for me and my time to plan ahead. Even M with his crazy schedule can plan ahead and if something comes up for him, he lets me know right away.

I am starting to wonder why so many guys have such little respect for other people’s’ schedules and time. Is it too much to ask for a little communication and effort on their part?


And to pay tribute to Steve Jobs, a visionary man, a few quotes from his commencement address at Stanford in 2005 and yes I am writing this on my MacBook

You’ve got to find what you love and that is as true for work as it is for lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you’ve found it.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.


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