Still Processing

November 7, 2011 at 8:50 am (dating) (, , , , , , , )

The Friday after JS got back from his trip we did go out to the movie we had talked about, The Rum Diary. I confirmed that he still wanted to go and I bought the tickets online. Since the time of the movie was earlier then we usually go, I told him I would meet him there rather than him picking me up. I knew it might be cutting it close if he came to pick me up after he was done with work. He got to the theater just a few minutes before I did and secured our seats at the bar.

When I got to the bar, JS gave me a big hug and squeezed me tight. He was happy to see me. While we were sitting at the bar he told me all about his trip including things about his family. Usually he doesn’t share that much with me about his trip. Soon it was time for us to go into the movie and since it was a 21+ showing we got a drink for inside the theater. During the movie, JS went and got us drinks two more times. Yes I was buzzing a little bit. I even got up during the movie to go to the bathroom, because well I couldn’t hold it anymore. I barely remember the walk to and from the bathroom.

We both liked the movie and decided to get some food. We decided to switch things up a bit and went to the Cheesecake Factory for appetizers. While we were there we had two appetizers and one drink, well he had a beer and I had a drink. Needless to say I was feeling pretty good. While we were there we talked about writing and movies, two of our favorite things. After we were done he paid the bill and we started walking to the car but not before I stopped at the Ben & Jerry’s store to get a pint. They didn’t have Schweddy Balls but I did discover a new flavor, Dublin Mudslide. We were joking the whole time. He drove me home, gave me a hug and even made these noises similar to what M does when we are together. It was strange because JS has never done that before.

Since we had a few drinks, I told him to let me know when he got home. After the time he should have been home I texted him because I still hadn’t heard from him. He told me there was some stuff going on at his place and forgot and apologized. Then I said, I don’t know if I should say this but you smelled and looked really good tonight. He made a comment about what I had said, then he said to me, “I still find you just as attractive as always, just doesn’t feel right any longer to go for it. If you know what I mean, if not we can talk about it next week”.

Um what? I went to bed that night very confused. If he still finds me attractive then why not sleep with me? Is he sleeping with someone else? Or does feel like he is using me and doesn’t like that? What does he mean, “It just doesn’t feel right any longer to go for it”?

On my way to an event the next morning, really feeling like Johnny Depp in The Rum Diary, I let him know I was confused. Nothing more has been said and we weren’t able to hang out this past week because our schedules didn’t match up right. For the past week I have been trying to process it all and figure it out.

We are meeting up for coffee this morning and I will be bringing it up.


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