Invisible

November 29, 2011 at 9:31 pm (dating, life) (, , , , )

I have contemplated writing this post for a couple of months. The main reason for the hesitation is because it might upset some people. If you ask anyone that knows me, I am not a person that likes to upset others. But there is this feeling that hasn’t been going away and I have a feeling there are others who have felt the same way at some point.

It is the invisible feeling. That feeling you get when your friends get either a new job or new love interest. All of a sudden that friend doesn’t have as much time for you as they did before. You don’t say anything to your friend because you are happy for them. But then you start to feel like the friend who is just kept around when there is nothing else to do. I have confronted a friend about this in the past. When I told her she said, “I didn’t realize it and I’m so sorry”, and she was. We did hang out once after that. Since then she has been working full-time, going to school full-time and caring for her mother. We do still talk when we can.

Still there are other friends that might not realize that you feel this way and you don’t say anything because you don’t want to upset them. And you are truly happy for their new situation. When they do talk to you, they do listen and if there is a problem you are having they try to be there for you, but it just upsets you more. Mostly because you think they don’t truly understand what you are going through even though they say they do.

As a plus size girl you have these feelings of invisibility to overcome in friendships, dating and career. At work you feel like odd man out at social company functions. In dating, you feel like you are always overlooked by the decent guys. And in friendships you feel like the wingwoman. As a plus size girl in LA these feelings seem intensified because even non plus size girls feel this way at times too.

This just might be something I am going through but I do know I have good people in my life and good things are happening. And as the saying goes, “This too will pass”.

 

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3 Comments

  1. uncensored007 [Madi] said,

    reading this makes me want to read more, so thats what Im going to do now. look forward to journeying with you through the blog world

  2. Jennifer said,

    I’ve had this experience recently, and I’m married. My BFF got into a relationship and now she calls about once a month. It makes me sort of hesitate when a single person wants to become close friends. I almost feel like the only other close friends I can make and keep will have to be other married women.

  3. 21st Century Love Triangle said,

    “…because even non plus size girls feel this way at times too.” Irrespective of size, race, gender, whatever else – I think this feeling universally sucks… But, we’ve all had it 😦

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