14 years younger

April 12, 2012 at 9:00 am (dating) (, , , )

On Saturday JS and I went to a local amusement park. Since it was Spring Break it meant spending a good part of the day standing in line. Since we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks, we talked a lot about writing, family, movies and of course the rides. It was a great day and the longest we have spent together in months. (And yes we are still just friends.)

Since we had so much fun that day, on Monday I asked him if he would like to do dinner in, either order in or I cook, and watch a movie sometime this week. He said sure and suggested Thursday or Friday. I immediately said Friday. He said he would have to check his schedule as he has started seeing someone and his schedule isn’t as open. Now I sort of had a feeling he was seeing someone because on Saturday while we were talking about a movie he said he went to go see it, which I thought was strange because when I had mentioned the movie weeks before it sounded like he had no desire to see it. I had also asked him if he got talked into it and he said yes. Normally when he gets talked into a movie by his friends he will mention their names, this time he did not.

So I told him I had a feeling he was seeing someone but wasn’t sure then asked how long it has been. He told me about a month and taking it as it goes. I then asked how they met. He told me they me met at work which is tricky. Well naturally because dating someone you work with is not always ideal. My next thought was she must be closer to his age, (JS and I are nine years apart.), so I asked him. He said no she is 30. WTF? I honestly felt like someone had stabbed me in the stomach. It wasn’t because he started seeing someone, though that didn’t help, it was the fact that this girl is 14 years younger than him. I told him I was even more confused because she is even younger than me but quickly apologized for that statement. He seemed to understand. I told him if he doesn’t have time for me, it would suck because I don’t want to lose him as a friend, but I would understand. He told me us being friends would never change no matter if he is seeing someone or whom and he would spare me further details. I told him it is fine, I would just need a day to process and figure out why not me. It was a valid point and I asked him if it was something I did or didn’t do or something I said or didn’t say. He said there is no such thing to have or not have it is way more complicated and confusing than that but it can feel that way.

Umm yeah it is way more confusing. What does this 30-year-old have that I don’t? Granted when I was 30 I had been separated from my ex for little over a year, M and I had known each other a year(he is 10 years older than me and we weren’t dating but for a reason other than age), and I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone who was six years older than me. So I had been through quite a bit but I couldn’t imagine dating someone 14 years older than me. In my twenties I dated someone who was 12 years older than me but even that was more of a just a casual thing.

And on his side, what does he have in common with this girl? There are things from his childhood that he talks about that sometimes I don’t even know about or remember. It’s all so weird to me.

The even weirder thing is he said we can do dinner night in on Friday. Shouldn’t he be going out on a date with his new woman on Friday night and not doing dinner night in with a friend? I’m not complaining though.

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