My Start to 2012

January 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm (dating, life) (, , , , )

My start to 2012 was a bit of a roller coaster, which is why I haven’t posted in a while. After midnight on new years eve, I started talking with that guy I met at the bar on Christmas day. He told me about himself and there was lots of flirting. Then at 4am, yes I said 4am, the bar was closing. This guy offered to take me home. I being a bit intoxicated didn’t tell my older brother and sis-in-law that I had a ride home. I thought they were also leaving. The guy drove me home and we sat in my parents’ driveway making out, which is all that happened. We were stopped by my brother knocking on the window. He was worried about me. With that I got out of the car and headed into my parents’ house. My dad was pretty upset that no one can find me. but by morning all was forgiven. I am still in touch with that guy and hopefully will see him when I go back home.

Then a couple of weeks ago, some of my clothes were stolen from the laundry room. I think I know who did it but I can’t prove it. Still upset about it but that is nothing compared to what happened a couple days later, I got a call from my mom saying my uncle passed away suddenly. It was sudden as he was very healthy. I had just chatted with him the week earlier about my upcoming trip to Las Vegas for my birthday. I was going to spend the last day hanging with him and my cousins. We were both very excited about it. I was in shock when my mom told me the news, I didn’t cry because I didn’t want to believe it was true. He was a great man and will be dearly missed. We know though that he is making his way back to my aunt who passed away five years ago.

Last week my mom called me and told me that my oldest brother was taken to the hospital. They thought it was a heart attack but after testing they ruled that out. He does have something in his neck and back that is hereditary and they doctors are trying to talk him into back surgery. My brother is now back home which is great news.

Then my little brother got news that his ex, my nephew’s mother, went crazy at the hospital. It always worries us when this happens but everything is okay and my nephew is safe.

It has been a lot to handle but I am making it through and have some great friends.


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Such a Great Holiday!

January 4, 2012 at 9:26 pm (life) (, , , , , , )

The new year is starting out with a bang for a lot of people, including myself. For me it is mostly because I had such a great holiday week.

In November, my dad called me to say that as mine and my mom’s Christmas present he was paying for my plane ticket back home for the holidays. Tickets were not cheap and I just couldn’t pay for it myself so I was very excited. We decided to keep it a surprise from the rest of the family. Which we did manage to do but my dad did tell my uncle the week before I got there, it must have been during happy hour.

The night before I left JS and I celebrated the holidays. It was a low-key night of staying in with Chinese food, gifts and watching movies. It was also the second time we have hung out since October when he told me we should just be friends. It was a good night.

I flew out on Christmas Eve and headed for the Midwest. My parents and my 9-year-old nephew came to the airport to pick me up. My nephew was surprised as he also didn’t know I was coming. We made our way to my older brother’s house for our family celebration. When we got there my younger brother was so excited to see me he was crying. Everyone was so shocked and excited to see me there especially since I threw them off the track the day before saying I would Skype with them again this year. The day was filled with kids, great food and my amazing family.

Christmas Day my parents and I headed to the bar to watch the Packer game. While we were there, I met someone who I saw again on New Years Eve (more about that later). New Years Eve my brothers and I went out with my parents, no little kids allowed. It was a great night and my parents were so happy to have their children together and go out with them.

More about the guy I met while back home in the next post…

Hope everyone had a great holiday!

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Happy Mothers Day

May 8, 2011 at 7:53 pm (life) (, , , )

Today is the day we celebrate Mothers everywhere. Flowers are on sale, restaurants do special buffets and girls are in their Sunday best.

I have been fortunate to have an amazing mother who has supported me in everything I do. When I told her I was moving to California in 2004 she took the news a little hard but she knew it was something I had to do. Since moving here she has calmed me down when I call her crying and it is 2am in Wisconsin. She has supported me when I am having a tough time and we talk to each other every day. When people ask her if it is tough having a daughter living so far away she tells them, “I always knew she wouldn’t stay in Wisconsin, she was always my little traveler. I just didn’t think it would be California but thank god for cell phones.”

All of the mothers in my life are amazing and extroadanry women. My grandmother lost her husband, my mother’s dad, when my mom was only 9 years old. She had 4 girls under the age of 11. She raised them on her own for many years until she met my grandfather, my mom’s stepdad. My grandmother is a very strong woman and raised her girls to be the same. My aunts and my mom have all been through a lot and have come out even stronger. I have lost 2 of my aunts but they fought every step of the way.  I also have 2 nieces that are mothers, yes I am a great aunt. Even though they were under the age of 20 when they had their daughters they work hard, continue their education and are always there for their daughter.

So Happy Mothers Day to all of the mothers out there.

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Do you believe in…

January 15, 2011 at 8:50 pm (dating, life) (, , , , , , , , , , )

…soul mates?

I am currently going through a bunch of boxes of papers and magazines that I have been storing in bankers boxes. Going through these items brought back memories of my college days and of when I was married. I found our photo album, our marriage papers and also our divorce papers. While cleaning I also found a bunch of Glamour and Cosmo magazines and started to go through them before I dump them. There was an article in the July 2009 issue of Cosmo that asked “Can You Have More Than One Soul Mate?”

I would have to say, YES. I believe it is truly possible. Before my husband, there was a guitar tech for a touring band that I thought was my soul mate, then obviously there was my husband, then the fishguy I dated after my divorce, and well of course M. M I actually met before the fishguy, but after knowing M for six months he told me he didn’t want to do the family thing, which is why I was still dating.

But if you have been reading my blog you know by now that M and I have a special connection, this month will mark the fifth year since that first date we had at our now favorite Mexican restaurant. And yes I do know things with M will never be anything more than what they are but there is a special relationship there. We are first and foremost friends and he has helped me through a lot of tough times. He has been the one person these past five years that has been a constant in my life. Granted since then I have met my other two close guy friends, JB and RC, but M I have known the longest. It seems he calls when I have been having a tough week and just seeing his name pop up on my phone, it puts a smile on my face.

Now I get that same reaction from the new man in my life, JS. (Also if you been reading my blog for a while, you know that I never put in names of certain people in my life, just abbreviations, not only to protect them but also myself, even though I write under a different name.) Things with JS have been good, hard sometimes with his schedule, but M is the one through his crazy schedule, helped me to be more understanding. I know just as I do with M, I will see JS, not only because he is attracted to me but he likes seeing me and spending time with me. We have a great connection and also we are taking time getting to know each other.

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Time to be thankful

November 22, 2010 at 5:52 am (dating, Job, life) (, , , , , , )

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Thanksgiving is on Thursday and everyone takes time to give thanks for the things in their life. For me it has been a year of rediscovering who I am and what I want to do. It has been a really tough year. Being self-employed isn’t always as glamorous as it sounds. Yes it is great to be able to make your schedule. This benefit has allowed me to see M a lot more than last year. It has allowed me to go to a lot of networking events that before I was not able to and because of that I have made new friends. I have had clients who are still clients today and also had clients where we worked together and for various reasons we parted ways.

The down side to being self-employed is that you don’t make enough money. You can have a number of clients but sometimes they don’t pay on time or they are having a slow time in their business so they can’t pay you. It has caused me stress and moments when I would call mom crying hysterically. Early this fall I even contemplated moving back to the Midwest, to move back in with my parents and save money.

I am happy that I didn’t move back to the Midwest because right before I went back there to visit, I met a nice guy who is nice, respectful, goofy, geeky like me, a writer and really cute. After I got back from my trip I got offered a part time job in the leasing office of my building. I have been there a few weeks and well the commute is great.

I think if I would have moved back, I would have missed out on some amazing things and a great person. I also wouldn’t have realized that I really want to get my writing consulting business going again because I LOVE helping other writers.

I am thankful for my supportive family and friends, new beginnings, and rediscovering what I really want.

Even though at times I feel like I am sinking at times, I am still swimming

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July 13, 2010 at 6:31 am (dating, life) (, , , , , , , , )

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Tonight I was watching CSI:Miami and at the end they were playing one of my favorite songs (those who know me know I have lots of favorite songs), “Give Me Strength” by Snow Patrol.

This song got me thinking about the things that I have been through and the strength and support I have gotten from my friends and family. It has helped me through so many tough times. It helped me when I lost my grandparents and aunts. It helped me when my mom has been in the hospital. It helped me when I moved out to California. It helped me when I got divorced. It helped me through every breakup. And today it helps me when I am having those down days about my business and life in general. Sometimes it is hard living so far from home but my family and friends back home always support me.

One person in California that has seen me through my ups and downs since my divorce is M. He first met me 4 months after my ex-husband left. M saw me at my darkest time when I was still living in the apartment my ex and I shared. When I moved in with a roommate the first thing he said to me was, “Wow this place is so much better for you. You look so happy.” And he was right. He came to see me after I fell at work and my knee was the size of a softball. He has seen me when I was upset about my full-time job at the time. He has seen me when my mom was rushed to the hospital. He has seen me start a business. He always asks how things are going in my life and what is new and exciting and not just to make small talk, he does it because he cares. I have been there for him too when things in his life are up and down. When I see his work on the screen I get excited. I have been understanding that I can’t see him all the time because his job keeps him busy and he truly appreciates that. I always ask about his family and let him vent when he needs to. I give him a hug when he needs it and always flash my smile for him.

And when we say goodbye to each other until the next time, he says “Be good, do good things” and I know he means it.

Here is a song about strength tapped at an amazing venue, Royal Albert Hall

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Great Friends and Great Memories

May 21, 2010 at 8:58 pm (dating, life) (, , , , , , , , , , )

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My trips back to the Midwest are always eventful and I guess that is why I look forward to them. It gives me time to relax and recharge. I also get to hang out with family and friends. And when I am with the friends, it is always exciting. This trip was no different.

After I said bye to M for the summer, it was time for me to head to the airport. Once I got there I headed to the Sports Bar by my gate. I have always passed by it but never stopped, mostly because I fly so late it was never open. This time I stopped and the bartender there was very friendly and could make a good drink, so naturally I had two. Then once I got on the plane, I had a couple more. Of course I didn’t sleep as much as I had planned but I had a great time talking with new friends I had met. Once I got back I was able to go with my mom and brother to pick my nephew up from school. He was very excited to see me.

Since the crush was still gone and I just left we were emailing and texting each other. It was nice to have someone miss me and to be honest I missed him too.

The next few days were filled with wedding things (a good friend of mine was getting married and I was her personal attendant which was an honor.) The whole wedding weekend was amazing as I was able to catch up with old friend and meet new friends. And since my friends and I really know how to party, it was fun and exhausting, due to lack of sleep and well alcohol consumption. (See below for my drink count of my trip. I only drink that way when I am back home.) The rest of my trip was filled with hanging with the family. Oh and I saw twelve deer in a two mile radius not far from my parents house. Yes they moved to the backwoods where that is not an unusual site.

Then completely joking, I asked the crush to pick me up from the airport. I knew we were both excited to see each other so I thought why not. He then told me to send him my flight info. I still didn’t believe he was going to pick me up but that morning he texted me, “Excited to see you.” It threw me just like the “I miss you” message he sent me a week earlier. Don’t get me wrong, I loved hearing it, it was just he had never said anything like that before. It was very nice.

After a very long and scary plane ride, the turbulence was so bad there were people screaming, I was finally able to see the crush after not seeing him in almost 2 months. He still looked good. He dropped me off at home and we set up a time for the next night to go out. And it was a great night.

Since then there have been a couple of other things that have happened that are making me think more and more that something more is going to happen. I will keep you posted.

This video mostly because my friends and I danced to it at the wedding and I love this song so much.

Drink Count for trip

Tuesday- 2 Margaritas, 1 shot of Tequila (With M), 4 Bacardi and Diet (At the airport and on the plane)
Wednesday – None
Thursday- 2 $3 Margaritas (With the Bride to Be)
Friday- 1 Bad Martini, a few Vodka Cranberry, a couple of shots and 1 Beer (with the Bride to Be and the Bridal Party)
Saturday (The Wedding) – Multiple Vodka Cranberries, and lots of shots
Sunday – None unless you count the fact I was drinking after Midnight
Monday – 3 Vodka Cranberry, 1 Bacardi and Diet (Hanging with Dad)
Tuesday – 1 Patron Pomegrante Margarita (Out to Dinner with the fam before the lil brother and I went to see Iron Man 2)
Wednesday – 2 Tall Bacardi and Diet (With friends before heading to the airport)
Thursday – 3 Bacardi and Orange I think (night out with the crush and he was getting the drinks for me)

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March 24, 2010 at 9:12 am (dating, life) (, , , , , , , )

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The other night a friend of mine and I were watching parts of  The Bachelor wedding on Hulu. I hadn’t seen it yet and was glad I didn’t sit through the whole thing. I’m sorry Jason and Molly but it was a little cheesy. I will say they are a good couple and Molly looked beautiful.

Once I turned it off, my friend turned to me and asked, “If M and your crush showed up at your front door and said they wanted to give you everything you wanted (marriage and kids), which one would you choose?”.  I immediately said “M”.  My friend looked at me and said, “Really?”. I think she was not only surprised by my quick response but by who I chose.

I have only known this friend for about two years so she doesn’t fully understand the connection with M. I have known M for four years and though we don’t see each other all of the time, we see each other when we can and it is always amazing. I explained to her that if he were to tell me tomorrow that he wanted all of those things again, I would say yes.

My crush and I have only started getting to know each other. I am pretty sure that he wants marriage and kids, just to soon to tell if he wants them with me.

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Hazy Shade of Winter

January 25, 2010 at 4:51 am (life) (, , , , , , , , , , )

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My winter reminded me of one of my Favorite Bangles song, “Hazy Shade of Winter”.  One part of the song that relates to my winter:

“Hang on to your hopes, my friend
That’s an easy thing to say, but if your hopes should pass away
Simply pretend
That you can build them again
Look around, the grass is high
The fields are ripe, it’s the springtime of my life”

My winter has been one of ups and downs. Two days after Thanksgiving I got a call from my brother hysterical because he went to see my mom and she was non responsive and had to call 911 to take her to the hospital. When my brother asked the EMTs to take her to the hospital where her doctors are, they told him “In the condition she is, we can’t risk it”. That was the seriousness of her condition.  I wanted to fly back right away but my Dad said to hold tight until they knew what was going on. After talking the next day he said he would need help and I should see how fast I could get a flight out.

Even though it was one of the busiest travel days, I got very lucky when I called Midwest Express to change my original flight home,(I wasn’t supposed to leave until December 20th), the lead agent helped me get a flight that wouldn’t cost me an arm and a leg. December 1st I was on a flight back to Wisconsin. My brother and nephew picked me up and we headed straight to the hospital. To go into her room in ICU, we had to wear masks and gowns because they still didn’t know what caused her to get so sick. At one point while sitting there, mom didn’t remember that I lived in LA. I knew though that it was the sedation. (She later admitted to me, that she didn’t believe that it was really me standing there when she saw me.) That Friday she was released and I was helping my dad take care of her and help them pack. (They had sold their house and had to be out in the next three weeks. Yes there was a lot going on.)

While I was home for the month I thought a lot about moving back. I thought about being able to see my parents, family and friends all the time. Being able to attend the many events and weddings (five of my friends are getting married this year), without having to decide which one I should go to. Things would be easier.

But would I be happy? Then I started to remember that summer before I moved to California. I was so miserable every day because I knew I badly wanted to live in Cali. Then I thought about all of the connections I have been making out here in Los Angeles that are amazing people and have resulted in some great opportunities.

When I got back to LA it took a few days to get back into the swing of things but eventually I was going to networking events and feeling better about things. I still have up and down days (the rain for a week didn’t help my mood), but I am realizing California is the place I need to be.

I also have an amazing support system of friends who tell me, “miss you too! keeep your head are following your dream which is way more than the rest of us can say!”. And my mom who says, “I will support you in any possible way I can”.

With support like that, anything is possible.

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Finally Recovered

April 24, 2009 at 5:02 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

The munchkin dancing

The munchkin dancing

My trip home was good and relaxing. The flight there wasn’t so great as it was a red eye and somehow I got seated in the last row aisle seat. (Now I remember why I don’t fly Northwest).No I did not get much sleep. But I was very excited when I got past the security checkpoint at the airport and I saw little man running up to me saying “Auntie!!” Yes the nephew was very excited to see me and as always was my little buddy the whole time I was in town. He also helped throw things away when he cleaned out my storage unit that I have had in Wisconsin for the past 5 years. Throwing away things is very cleansing and I seem to be doing a lot of that lately with moving.

Last Saturday night was the night with the girls. Our big sorority alumni weekend. I had a great time catching up with friends I hadn’t seen in a few years and also made new friends with younger alumni and some of the collegiate members. The night was filled with laughs and fun, in fact we are still talking about that night. Sunday was the baby shower for my friend then the rest of the day was spent like most Sundays in college were, sitting on the couch watching chick flicks.

Before Mom had to take me to the airport we met up with my lil bro for an early dinner. After we left the Olive Garden, mom drove me down and started crying as we saw the signs for the airport. She gets like that every time and it is sweet. She does miss having her baby girl in Wisconsin but knows why I am out in California and supports me 100%.

It was a very relaxing trip and am glad I was able to get away before the big move next week. I am still a little stressed though trying to make sure everything is taken care of: renting the UHaul, changing my address with companies, getting boxes, and of course packing. I am also trying to find a new laptop.

If I can get through till the end of the month, I will be happy.

Oh and Frontier Airlines, I love you. You make flying a great experience.

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